Hi, my name is Faith. I’m 24 years old. I’m crazy, loving and a caring person. I have always been the crazy and different one growing up. I always believed in love. A love that is true. A love that is enduring and worth fighting for. I saved myself for someone who will treasure me more than a jewel. Although some people see me as worthless, I see myself as valuable especially when I found the Lord. The Lord who taught me to love and to be loved. He gave me the strength to see the value in me in Proverbs 31. As I saw people fall in love, failing with their stories, and fighting for what they believed is right, I was encouraged to ask God to help me write a beautiful story as my own. Almost 10 years ago, I was sitting in the camp when a preacher reminded me that I should start praying for my life time partner. As a girl, I always wanted to have a special someone who saves and protects me from anything. I even read tons of fantasy, romantic stories just because I wanted to create one of my own.
When I personally met the Lord, I was even more inspired to find the true one because of His love. I met a lot of Godly people who had different and exciting stories and that pushed me more to pray for the Godly, loving and understanding man. I went back and forth to the book of Proverbs to write the characteristics of a Godly man and little did I know that God has someone for me. But of course, like every story the main character has fears, anxieties and doubts. The fear of getting hurt, losing that special someone or people criticizing me. The doubt of what if my prayers were wrong, what if he hates me when he found out things about me or I can’t love him enough because I probably got the wrong idea of what love truly is. I was so scared. Because of fear and doubts, I ran away from believing that someone would love me. It is not only with hoping that special someone will come but having a strong relationship with friends & families. I stopped expressing myself to the point the only thing I could do is write.
When I’m sad, I write. When I’m happy, I write. When I’m mad, angry and all the emotions I could feel, I write. I write and that’s what comforts me. I hid behind my pen. I fought with my own self. Trying to find who I am. But one thing I never stopped doing is praying. I still hoped that one day, I will get out of this fear and will find a way out.
A few years after, I went back to my old notebooks and try to find the qualities for a man that God wanted me to have. And yes, I didn’t forget to ask for a white Filipino, tall and handsome. But above all those things I prayed for understanding.
While I was in Bible college, I never missed to write “Pray 4 Him” in every sermon I attended. I didn’t know who he was or what he looks like, but I knew, I have someone to pray for. Because I want to rise again, I finally got the courage to seek for help. I have a very good friend, a teacher, a counselor and a guide who brought me back on track. She helped me find godly people to talk to and am forever grateful for that. After all the sessions, counseling and praying, I finally found the healing. Am I fully healed? No. But I’m one step closer to the finish line.
As I was asking and praying for healing, understanding and a new love, God gave me new good friends and lifted me up through Jonathan. Though we speak a different language, we have the same God who speaks to everyone. God already showed me His love, but He extend it more by sending Jonathan into my life. I never understood why Jonathan suddenly came into my prayers. Why he suddenly became my prayer. I never understood why God was dealing with my heart but all I know at the time I was asking God for a healing, but Jonathan seemed so right and fit in my writing. He started giving me butterflies & I can’t look at him anymore in the eyes like how I used to. I feel like I was coming out of my innocent self. I started getting shy & I didn’t know how to explain it to Jonathan. It would be weird if I tell him, “I started praying for you.” But then I realized, if he is godly then he would understand. He might be hesitant, but he would understand. I didn’t expect him to give me an answer because I myself couldn’t understand what was going on. I never felt this feeling before. It was different from just having a crush on someone. I had interest with guys before but the feeling I have now it is not like before. I just know God was with me the whole time.
But of course, with every story, there is an antagonist. Before we could even share the story, they already judged, mocked and made fun of us. They made me sad and mad. You know the feeling when you are doing the right thing but in their eyes, we were still wrong. Is it because my story is different from them? But I don’t want my story to be like theirs, I wanted my own. In fact, I wanted God to write it. God made it happen one step at a time. He gave me Jonathan so that I could understand other people. God is using Jonathan, so I can express love and forgiveness. Jonathan is someone who encourages me to continue walking with the Lord. He listens to every pain and to every joy I have. Jonathan is someone who gives me the things that complete my life—his trust, his tenderness, his understanding and most of all, his love.
As Jonathan and I get married, I want to encourage you to find the right and godly man. And the only way you can find that is through faithfulness in serving the Lord. Jonathan and I drastically failed along the way, but I still believe, failure is part of a beautiful story. So, don’t quit when nothing seems so right, but continue because there is beauty in failures when you rise up.
Thank you for getting to know me & I can’t wait to walk in the aisle and meet the man that God placed in my life!!!